Information » Family & Relationships » Being in a Relationship » Girlfriends
- A girlfriend is someone you share a romantic relationship with, a ‘romantic relationship’ can mean different things to different people – every relationship is different.
- A romantic relationship could be simply spending time together, going out to places together, sharing affection and talking to each other.
- If you enjoy spending time together, you may find you become closer and your feelings may become stronger for her.
Having a girlfriend
- Don’ t worry if your friends all seem to be getting girlfriends. Your relationships are personal to you, so don’ t feel pressured into starting a relationship with somebody if you do not want to. There is plenty of time.
- At the start of a relationship, it is normal to feel a bit nervous at the thought of being close to someone new. Relax and concentrate on what makes you feel happy about that person.
- Don’ t be concerned by what other people think of you or your relationship
- Having a girlfriend doesn’ t mean you must have sex. Every relationship is different, so don’ t feel pressured into having to have a sexual relationship. Think about how you may feel if your relationship became a sexual one, would it change? Most people want to be in a stable loving and permanent relationship before they decide to have sex.
- It is normal to want to have sex, but respect your girlfriend’ s feelings too. Even if you feel ready to have sex, she might not. Sex can be a very different experience for men than for women so be understanding and not pushy.
- The key to a happy relationship is good communication - keep talking to each other about how you feel.
- Remember: don’ t rush into anything if you are unsure. Your relationship is personal to you – you have a choice
Girls can be friends too!
- It is normal to have girls as friends. Just because you are friends with a girl, this does not mean she is your girlfriend
Boys and girls are different
- Girls mature more quickly than boys, so she may have a different idea of her role as a girlfriend. It is a good idea to discuss what you both want at an early stage in the relationship to avoid misunderstandings or any confusion.
- When you have a girlfriend it is natural to want to spend a lot of time together.
- You may socialise together as a group, but if you spend a lot of time alone with your girlfriend, remember not to lose touch with your friends or with the things you enjoyed before you had a girlfriend.
Your parents/ guardians
- Your parents or guardians may feel differently to you about your relationship. They may not be comfortable with you having a girlfriend for any number of reasons. They may feel:
- You are ‘too young’
- She is ‘too young’ or ‘too old’ for you
- They are not happy about someone spending a lot of time with you if they don’ t know that person
- They think ‘you can do better’
- It may seem as though they are interfering but your parents or guardians are usually only looking out for you.
- Talking to your parents or guardians can help. Find a quiet time when you can discuss the situation together calmly.
- It may help for your parents or guardians to get to know your girlfriend. For example, suggest inviting her over for a meal or for all of you to spend some time