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Information » Family & Relationships » Separation and Loss » Splitting Up

• Unfortunately, some relationships are not meant to be and will not last forever
• Relationships end for a variety of reasons – don´t take it to heart and remember you are learning from experience
• Splitting up is not an easy thing to do for anyone, no matter how good or bad the relationship might have been
• The end of a relationship can give you the chance to work out what you do want from the right person
• Whether you´re the person doing the splitting up or not, the end of a relationship can be miserable and painful to start with, but your feelings will heal over time

The right way?

• If you are considering splitting up with your partner, think about how you would like to be treated if the situation was the other way round
• If your relationship is not working out, it´s best to be honest with your partner and let them down gently
• Be fair and be kind to your partner. You were once close to them so they deserve to be treated with respect and dignity
• Try and break it to them face-to-face, this allows you to explain your reasons properly and gives them the opportunity to ask questions and tell you how they feel. It won´t be easy but they will respect you for handling it well
• If your relationship has ended because your partner has stopped contacting you, this can be very confusing. Find out what´s going on – talk to them or arrange to meet up to discuss the situation. You need to know what´s happening and it´s not fair on you to be left hanging on

Getting over it

• No matter how bad you feel now, things will only get better. Your feelings will heal over time
• You may feel a mixture of emotions - upset, confused, angry, guilty, low in confidence and stress
• Let your feelings out – don´t keep them inside. It´s perfectly normal to cry – this is all part of the healing process
• You may feel miserable and find you don´t want to go out. It will help you to keep yourself busy with friends and family
• Try something new and make time to do things you enjoy. ;Start a new hobby or try going to different places. Making yourself feel better will help you build up strength and confidence
• Think positively - this can help you get over your relationship and start afresh
• You will probably miss your partner a great deal to begin with. Remember what you used to do before you started your relationship with your partner
• Often, people find it is easier to cut off all contact with their ex-partners when a relationship ends. This may be difficult if you live in the same area, go to the same school, work together or visit the same places
• You may need to alter your schedule for the time being. Give yourself the time you need
• Try not to feel bitter about your ex. These feelings will also pass over time. Be careful how you treat them, as you may regret what you say in the future
• You may feel a sense of loss. If you used to share your problems with your partner, then you will need to find a new person or group of people to support you. ;Talk things through with your friends and family. They are there to listen and to support you

The future

• When you are ready, you may consider beginning a new relationship. This may help in taking your mind off your ex-partner and give you a great confidence boost
• When you feel you are ready, you may want to meet up with your ex-partner as friends. But don´t be tempted to get back in touch if you´re only expecting to get involved in a relationship with them again – they may have moved on