Androgyny: My Story
Like many other users of the CLIC network, I am a teenager. And I've had my ups and downs, sure, but it all balances out to an overall pleasant ride. The lows for me just cast the highs in a better light.
However, there is one thing about peoples teenage years that comes to most, and fairly recently, it arrived for me; a journey of self-discovery. When I put it like that, it sounds silly, but that's the best phrase I can think of for it.
Until quite recently, I had been sure of who I am, who I want to be, and how I am going to achieve it. And a short while ago, I decided to begin actively working towards that goal, towards my would-be self. It was then that I began getting knocked off course. I was facing a choice.
Do I want to be a sweet, friendly kind of girl, who wears dresses and brightens people's days, always having a smile on her face? Or do I want to be the cool, mysterious type, who sits quietly observing the world around her, making close friendships, but not necessarily going out there and throwing herself on people for a friendship. A simple enough choice, on the surface. I thought about it for a while, I ended up focussing more on how I could merge the two.
But as time went on, I came to realise something; my ideally cool, mysterious girl, wasn't actually a girl at all; I'd begun thinking of that option as a man.
My initial reaction was one of a mild panic; "I have always identified myself as female what is this insanity?" But the more I thought about it, the more I realised, actually, perhaps it would be possible to mix the two, my cool male and my cute female, and make it work. This was when I decided to look deeply into The World of Androgyny.
I'd come across androgyny before, and I found it interesting; my mother once referred to David Bowie as androgynous, and then had to explain what that meant to me, and that was that. And The Bowinator has, for a long time, been my biggest idol. And in the BBC show, So You Think You Can Dance, there was recently a very androgynous-looking man called Lee B, and I found myself most drawn to him, out of all the dancers. I didn't consider it as a lifestyle choice until recently, though.
Having established that I didn't really consider myself as male or female, I decided to research the androgynous lifestyle, and I liked what I discovered very much. The way I look at it, it's freedom of expression, wearing whatever clothes you like, behaving however you like, and living the way you like without doing or avoiding certain things because it doesn't tie in with who society expects you to be.
One large thing came up while I was researching androgyny, though, and that was stereotyping, as one might expect. For example, women have to put a lot of effort into their appearance in order to feel good about themselves, and men don't understand compassion and romance. That, to me, is entirely wrong. If you are happy with your appearance without spending hours in front of a mirror, then that means you are genuinely comfortable with the way you look, and that's the end of it. If you don't understand compassion and romance, it means you aren't as in touch with your emotions as others, and that's the end of it. Gender, in my eyes, doesn't factor into it at all. A very straight male friend of mine is hopelessly romantic, and loves watching chick flicks and rom-coms. If that makes him "gay", then this is a pretty twisted society. Likewise, a female friend of mine is perfectly happy to go out with no makeup on, and she's still incredibly pretty.
The last stereotype I'm going to mention though is the stereotype about androgyny. On Saturday Night Live, there is an androgynous character called Pat. Her full name is Patricia, but it is very hard to tell, at a glance, what gender she is. Trouble is the creators of the show have made the character look incredibly unattractive. In the show, Pat is rather frumpy, and doesn't look like she's showered for a while. Because of this, many people associate androgyny with unattractiveness, when that just isn't the case. Take David Bowie, for example. He looks pretty damn awesome in high heels and make up. I think the only word that could even begin to describe him in his androgynous days is fabulous. And this was back in a time when men with hair below their ears could stop traffic! I could talk about David Bowie all day, but I won't. I'll control myself.
There is only one problem I am facing with my androgyny at the moment, and that is my family. Recently, my sister took me out to get a manicure and my eyebrows waxed. My mother was so happy that I was becoming "more girly"; she even mentioned it to her friend on the phone. I don't want to disappoint her by not considering myself as a girl. That's not to say androgyny can't be girly, but it has aspects of masculinity too, and I think that would be a big disappointment to her.
To me, androgyny is freedom, and nothing less. If I want to shave my head and start wearing tank tops and baggy jeans, with a large chain necklace that has a gold dollar sign on the end, then that's allowed. Of course, it would look terrible on me, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't at least give it a go, right? To me, an ideal world is where there is no gender stereotype, and I can tell you this for free; I'm going to do my bit to get a little closer to that world.
IMAGE: Untitled by Susie Salmon's no† dead
Related Article: To Be Transgender
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- Reflex Anoxic Seizures: My Story
4 Comments – Post a comment
Stormer007
Commented 9 months ago - 20th August 2011 - 00:11am
What a thoroughly exceptional article.
It's very considerate of you to share your experience so that others may benefit from the information and insights you've provided here. Love the numerous Bowie references. Although, I will say, please don't shave your head, wear tank tops and a massive gold chain with a dollar sign on the end. It looks good on no-one, regardless of sex and/or gender.
GeoffCLIC
Commented 9 months ago - 22nd August 2011 - 11:30am
Just taken off my chain and dollar sign, thanks for that tip Stormer007 Lol! but seriously this is a fantastic article, RibSeesLung you have an amazing writing talent and a wonderful view on life, I really hope your mum comes to terms with your emerging identity, thank you so much for your article, keep us informed with developments - and you are so right Bowie rocks!
cindyCLIC
Commented 9 months ago - 23rd August 2011 - 11:53am
Make-up or no make-up, skirts or trousers, bushy eyebrows or tweezed brows, masculine or feminine. None of this matters as long as you are happy and comfortable in the way you look.
emb789
Commented 8 months ago - 6th September 2011 - 14:20pm
This is really good! As a fellow Bowie fan, I find it a little easier to understand with the Bowie comparisons. Androgyny is something I'd never really heard of, but I think you do a great job of explaining it, so well done, you!