I Hate Food
I hate nearly all food.
It's called Selective Eating Disorder (SED).
I recently came across an article on the internet that related to me and my disorder.
SED (which isn’t to be confused with anorexia or bulimia) prevents consumption of certain foods either because of the texture or scent, or because of bad memories e.g. to eat something and gag on it then having a fear of choking on that certain food, or texture.
When this happens, social avoidance, anxiety and conflict can result.
After reading articles by people with the disorder, I started to think about how and why I ended up being the way I am now. Up until nursery I ate healthily, was a chubby little toddler that loved my vegetables.
However, this all changed when I started school. I remember having school dinners, and eating things I generally liked at home, but then disliking them in school so I took a packed lunch.
From the start, I had a very weak stomach and vomited at the sight of anything I found disgusting. It all started here: I remember sitting around the packed lunch table and watching other pupils eat their food. They always ate with their mouths open and one girl always had bread stuck to the roof her mouth. This turned me off having sandwiches wrapped in cling film. I could eat them if they hadn’t have been in cling film, but seeing them wrapped in it reminded me of the girl.
At about the age of three or four, I started to dislike foods that I loved because I saw them in a different perspective. I can remember always eating Fries To Go microwave chips. I basically lived on them. I never had my five a day. I was lucky to have five fruit and vegetables in the space of about two months, and no, I am not exaggerating.
I also went through a stage in my life when I use to eat those rubber sausages. I use to have about 16 a day, with perhaps some chips.
My Christmas dinner consisted of microwave chips. But I have made progress. I now have Yorkshire pudding, chicken and gravy! I use to have spuds, but quite recently the texture was too much.
I can decide from the sight and smell of food if I like it or not. For example, I’ve never tried pizza, beans, spaghetti bolognese or pasta, but just by looking at it I can imagine the texture and taste, and this puts me off. I’m too scared to try new foods just in case I gag. Beans make my toes curl, so does cheese.
My current food crazes are: Pot Noodle (Golden Wonder brand and chicken and mushroom flavour only! Except the actual chicken and mushroom: I like to sieve them so I just have the juice and noodles), turkey dinosaurs, skinless sausages, and chips.
I also like plain chicken and KFC chicken. That’s pretty much all I like. I can’t name ten proper foods (excluding chocolate) that I eat.
Only since the start of this year have I started to worry about my eating habits. My parents and friends have started giving me talks, saying that I should eat more. I don’t think they understand why I don’t try new foods or how I’ve gone off foods so quickly.
I want to eat, but I don’t chose not to eat because they are horrible foods, it’s because it is all to do with my mind.
This is my story, what’s yours?
LINKS
IMAGE: Ben de Jesus
8 Comments – Post a comment
CLICryan
Commented 19 months ago - 5th July 2010 - 14:01pm
Fascinating stuff, jescc. Can I ask, how does it affect you overall mentally and socially? You mention once that you've "started to worry", but to what extent?
We also live in a Heat magazine age where, arguably, not eating and being skinny is wrongly celebrated. Would you say this played any small part in your condition?
Pasternak
Commented 19 months ago - 5th July 2010 - 14:16pm
I LOVE FOOD
Just thought I'd add that. :D
jeopreddy
Commented 19 months ago - 6th July 2010 - 20:44pm
@National Editor - When I go out for a meal, it's quite hard to cater for myself, take for example, I went out with a group of friends and they all ordered food from the adult menu, but it was really embarrassing that I had to order from the child’s menu as I only liked things on there.
As for mentally, sometimes I worry if I am getting enough nutrients, vitamins, etc. so I take multivitamins. I do get some days when I say to myself, 'I am going to eat healthily.' It never happens, but I try. Every time I go away with the youth council, youth workers are amazed at how I get by, one time they tried to help me get to like fruit, I tried banana, kiwi, pear and peaches. I found that I liked the tastes, just not the textures, so I can't eat them.
Being skinny has nothing to do with it. For example, in school, I find it hard to find things I like so I just eat chocolate bars, crisps, etc. Today, I was feeling rather hungry so I had two of everything, and the girls always say that it will affect my weight, but I haven't got a care in the world about my weight, I'd only start to worry if I was underweight or obese, which I am neither. It's really difficult to understand the condition as people would associate eating disorders with a problem with the way you look.
@Pasternak - Bit of a contradiction but.. I do like my food, just not the food you guys like, haha. I like large portions! :P
Portia Nicholson
Commented 19 months ago - 8th July 2010 - 13:26pm
I have a fond memory of the residential we went on in West Wales and when it came to eating in the cafeteria Ben said "don't worry Jess they've got Turkey" and your straight faced reply was "if it's not in the shape of a dinosaur i'm not interested.'
jeopreddy
Commented 19 months ago - 21st July 2010 - 20:33pm
Haha Portia. Serious matter, that! Ben knows what I like and don't like off the back of his hand, quite sad. I can't wait for the end of the month, are you going Portia? We missed you at the last residential :(
Snow..
Commented 18 months ago - 23rd July 2010 - 14:41pm
Wow Jess, that must quite agrivating if you like the taste of something but not the texture, I can't imagine not being able to eat something just because of the way it feels, smells, looks like or the memories it brings back (but I've got to say, if I saw someone with bread stuck to the top of their mouth, it'd put me off eating sandwiches too).
mackiebob
Commented 18 months ago - 29th July 2010 - 14:09pm
Reading this makes me feel blessed, I fully understand how some textures are unpleasant as I used to brim on being classed as anorexic for similar reasons, but I would never have thought this could develop in to such a bad thing. Can you ever see yourself pulling through?
steampunk13
Commented 11 months ago - 2nd March 2011 - 14:27pm
I have this also. Im so glad there are others out there like me who understand its not just a case of disliking food, there is more to it that being just a fussy eater.