The Mutual Love Situation
(The following article holds the names of my friends but their names have been changed for safety purposes, and by safety purposes I mean my own!)
Faye sat on my bed beneath the warm comforting glow from my bedroom light.
She started to shake nervously. I had never seen my best friend in such a state where I can't even say the right words to take her mind off the event.
Eric Unseen’s Razorblades And Meat played through my stereo. (A bit of well deserved publicity for ya, lads.)
She punches Adam's number into her mobile and starts confronting a drunken Adam about his erratic behaviour. He feels that both are going too fast with their feelings but their romance is more complicated than you could ever imagine... like, seriously.
People of CLIC! I know I bang on a lot about romance and heartbreak but for some reason it's something that confuses yet intrigues me. Maybe I'm writing this to gain an understanding on this human transition that we always go through.
I know I should probably write about world peace or something but when I've figured about this romance malarkey then you can possibly look forward to seeing an article on our economic downfall and me PRETENDING to care.
But would you rather me be as fake as Jordan's cleavage, or as real as my love for my friend's dog? (Yes, CLIC, I love that dog!) I'm guessing you went with the second one.
Romance is a state of mind and a lifestyle and with that lifestyle comes reality and reality is harsh as I found out with the state of my best friend. Their relationship is complicated because from the very start of the summer break they became mates and sparks flew instantly.
But both were attached and we were all mates together. And then her more than charming (charmingly arrogant) boyfriend called time. She was heartbroken, but as her friendship with Adam grew, so did my jealousy.
A little back-story about me and Adam, I was sixteen when I first met him. He would hang out outside the school gates waiting for me. I was naive and thought he was this perfect skater boy with the ability to make me smile. He was a friend of my friend and that's how we met.
It was a silly schoolgirl fling that gave me swooshy dreams that were polished to perfection. He liked black and white movies like me! I thought, "how perfect is this guy?" But after two weeks, he called it off. I felt stupid as I barely knew Adam, but from our long romantic walks and even longer phone conversations, I had him pretty sussed. Well, I thought anyway...
Then, our contact slipped away for a year. One night our conversation struck up on MSN. We talked for hours. He was still with his girlfriend but I didn't care, I was getting a chance to FINALLY talk to him again and I couldn't be happier. But, he had the power to break my heart again, so I disconnected myself from him and never looked back.
Then one year on, well, this summer, it was at a gathering at a friend's flat that I clapped eyes on him yet again. Adam returned to my life and there may have been resentment taking over slightly, but part of me seemed so happy to see him again because I actually missed him. I hate to admit it but I had missed Adam a lot. I later met his girlfriend and she was, you know, okay, but they seriously didn't suit.
Weeks passed and I became a regular at his place, and it wasn't long before I bought Faye into the equation, and obviously she got with her boyfriend, but things turned sour. Even though Adam was with someone, she claimed there was still a spark between me and Adam. Adam also felt it; I wanted to feel it but knew that wasn't possible. I was numb.
Faye and Adam grew much closer, to the point where she could tell what he was thinking and he knew what she was feeling in that moment they were around each other. Even his own girlfriend was losing him, in the sense she couldn't work him out, but Faye had the maths covered. And I won't lie, the boy I used to fall for was now slowly falling for my best friend. My heart started to break slightly.
The split of Adam and his girlfriend occurred only a month or two ago, and like a true friend who cared more, Faye shot down to his house with her support. She was down his more than mine! And at one point they both kissed in the corner of his room and just like an Audrey Hepburn movie, her foot popped. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
To this day she wears his ring that he gave her as a necklace around her neck. It was only a few months ago that my ex thought he had a flame for me yet again, and I believed we were going to endure a romance that was so whirlwind it would be as if he would be my Clyde and I would be his Bonnie.
But fantasies die when they start to become real. And now I'm standing in the background as she's becoming good friends with his mum and entire family, that should've been me... but it never was.
I hold no feelings for Adam, but obviously a part of me is distorted slightly, I mean I never had the intensity they have, or the passion they hold, and that has knocked me back slightly. I don't miss us, I miss that naive sixteen-year-old who thought he was my world. I will never reveal how I feel to Faye. I can't because it will hurt her.
So, I'll keep tight-lipped and walk away... it's for the best.
IMAGE: Gabriela Camerotti
5 Comments – Post a comment
eddie secretary
Commented 6 months ago - 21st November 2011 - 18:49pm
An Amazing article, so full of emotion and passion, you write so well, and you portray the feelings which need to be said, Well Done
and an ***EPICALLY EPIC HUG OF EPICALLY EPIC PROPORTIONS*** to all who need one
Stormer007
Commented 6 months ago - 22nd November 2011 - 01:47am
This was devestating. A thoroughly entrancing article. I am now petrified of love.
glittereyes360
Commented 6 months ago - 22nd November 2011 - 14:45pm
hey guys, thanks for the lovely words and thanks for that hug mate :) and to stormer007 don't be petrified of love. Me and Adam had our reasons to not work out, we were not meant to be. I am upset but you know that's how it goes, it was fun while it lasted but my next venture in love will more worth it and so will yous :)
Snow..
Commented 6 months ago - 22nd November 2011 - 20:26pm
I normally try to avoid guys, I don't do well and my friends have been in way more relationships than me, pretty much because I'm scared of the heartbreak afterwards. Reading that, in a really weird way, helped me feel more comfortable with the thought of relationships - like a kind of "Everyone feels it, but don't worry one day you'll find the right one" type of thing. Thanks for uploading the article :)
glittereyes360
Commented 6 months ago - 27th November 2011 - 21:01pm
Hey Jess, you know that actually made my day. Knowing what I wrote helped you has made me feel a thousand times better and I hope you'll find your one :) x